Beer Snobs and Winos
I lost my driver’s license at the airport two weeks ago. I had to go through security to pick up my two nieces who flew in for the summer and somewhere between security and the gates it just disappeared. I know this because when I got to the gate they asked me [...]
Hate and Blog ads gone awry
This started out as a diatribe on that cunt Anne Coulter, but it was like giving a Mouse a Cookie, the words “cunt” and “Coulter” led me to thinking about the impending Google ads that would campout on my site after the web crawlers had done their business on this particular entry. I [...]
Resume Hall of Shame
Actual exerpt from a teacher applicant:
“When I was a child. Whitney Houston sang, “I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.” I would often recited this song as I lined up my classroom of dolls and stuffed animals. I [...]
Happy Birthday to the first love of my life, my grandfather.
I close my eyes and conjure up on my mind’s screen the vision of your wood working shop. Your table saw appears in the middle with tiny sawdust mountains waiting to be crushed by your thick bristled brush with the wooden handle. Your work table appears to my left with the various clamps and tools [...]
Utah is all right with gay-teen suicides
On March 9, 2007 Utah’s Governor, Jon Huntsman, signed a bill that would allow school districts to ban Gay-Straight Alliances if they fail to “maintain the boundaries of socially appropriate behavior.” Apparently it didn’t matter that Utah has one of the highest suicide rates in the country in the gay-teen population. To create [...]
When Dog Food and Rappers Converge
I’ve been thinking about the nomenclatures of all things animate again. I literally froth at the mouth when I see that some parents have misspelled their child’s name in order to be “original”, and I pull out my own fingernails when I run into yet another mom who has given her child [...]
A Line on God
Dear Applicant:
I think it’s amazing that you have a line on God. The fact that he would endorse you as an applicant and personally call you to the position leaves me at a loss for words. Okay, maybe just a temporary loss for words. The problem is that both you [...]
Come on Down! – The Naked Truth
Bob Barker retired from the Price is Right last week. For those of you who are my age (young thirties) it’s truly the end of television as well as a personal vendetta that I’ve had against Bob since the age of five. My grandparents loved The Price is Right and I [...]
Starting Your Own Blog
A lot of you have asked about how I went about getting my own blog. I’m sure that there are a gazillion and one ways to do this, but here is the way that I did it. First of all, knowing a little bit of HTML is important, especially if it is your [...]
The Final Chapter
Yesterday she seemed resigned that this was the best and safest decision. Today she was hesitant but as I observed the way she looked at Joe I could see that she was less concerned about her own reality and more concerned about Joe’s reality. In the absurdity that is life, they found each other and [...]